Ep. 104: Why a rebellious teenager might be a good thing
Parents often worry about the teenage years. The term 'threenager' is frequently used to describe the toddler tantrums that leave parents tearing their hair out. I used it myself, with an eyeroll and a wry smile, but now that I've been through the teenage years I'm apologetic about that. I think it's patronising, and it doesn't help our relationships with our teens.
Katia Vlachos has experienced this from the teen point of view, and it took her until adulthood to realise that her 'good girl' behaviour wasn't serving her. She talks to me about how easy it is to raise a people-pleasing teenager (even when we think we're on the receiving end of full-scale rebellion), and why it's not such a good thing to have a teenager who sticks to the rules.
Who is Katia Vlachos?
Katia Vlachos is a coach and author of a new book called Uncaged. Raised in a traditional Greek family, Katia's early years were spent trying to please others as the perfect daughter and student, but she often found ways to embrace her rebellious spirit - including sneaking out at night and driving off into the sunset on the back of her boyfriend's Harley Davidson. As she grew up, Katia became more weighed down by this 'good girl' persona she'd be trying to live up to until one day, when she was in her 40s, she faced the reality that the life she was living had been designed to make other people happy and not herself.
After a series of life-altering events – including the death of her beloved father and the end of her 17-year marriage – Katia confronts how being obsessed with being seen as 'good' has affected her life decisions and sets out on a path of self-discovery and reinvention. Unpicking how she had been conditioned since childhood to chase societal approval and put the needs and desires of others above her own, Katia used her experiences to write a book about her story and inspire other women who are fed up of feeling guilty for wanting more.
Katia's book - Uncaged: A Good Girl's journey to reinvention Katia on Instagram Katia on LinkedIn KatiaVlachos.com How to Fail podcastMore teenage parenting from Helen Wills
Helen Wills Counselling and Parent Coaching Actually Mummy parenting teens blog Helen on InstagramThank you for listening! Subscribe to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please email [email protected].
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Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.
Episode produced by Michael J Cunningham
Teenage Kicks Podcast
Welcome to the Teenage Kicks podcast, where we take the fear out of parenting - or becoming - a teenager. The internet is full of parenting advice, from when you feel those first baby kicks, until they reach secondary school. And then it stops. No one is talking about teen parenting problems; so we’re going to.
Essential listening for teenagers and their parents, as well as those who work with young adults; Teenage Kicks has teen mental health at its core, and each episode will empower young people to tackle their own problems, and give parents the guidance to know how to help them.
Each week Helen speaks to real individuals who've experienced the issues that young people are dealing with now, and they don't sugar-coat it. From exam nerves and career worries to issues around sexuality and consent, we get tips and advice from expert guests who understand what it’s like to be a teenager today.
Helen will also be chatting about tough teenage problems like cyberbullying and self-harm, drugs, alcohol and teenage pregnancy, all with a heavy dose of reality from someone who's been there and made it through to the other side.
Teenage Kicks for Parents:
As parents, we understand some of our kids’ struggles, but let’s face it, it’s been a while, and things have moved on since we last panicked over a detention! Teenage choices today can seem alien to their parents because teenage life has changed so dramatically since we were young. Teenage Kicks helps you unravel topics like social media, sexting and teen self-esteem so that you can figure out what your child needs support with, and what’s just normal teenage behaviour.
Teenage Kicks for Teens:
Teenagers and parents come at things from different angles, we know. But teenage life can be challenging, and the support of your parents can make navigating tricky dilemmas easier. Teenage Kicks guests aren’t adults who’ve read a textbook; nor are they heavily invested in your day-to-day safety, like your mum and dad. They are real people who’ve been through what you’re dealing with, and they have the inspiration and advice you need to handle it yourself.
Join Helen each week as she chats to a different guest about topics affecting teenagers in 2020, and helps parents and teens to open up a dialogue that will make life easier to navigate on all sides.
You'll also find me chatting about teen parenting here:
Actually Mummy - my personal blog Instagram TwitterUseful websites:
The Mix - good information for under 25's Shout - for anyone struggling with anxiety or depressionThis series of the Teenage Kicks Podcast is sponsored by Blue Microphones, who gave me the fabulous Yeticaster mic for all my recordings. It's really straightforward to use, and gives me great sound quality without too much editing.
- No. of episodes: 106
- Latest episode: 2025-03-11
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