#193 Laziness is a myth. Here's what's actually going on

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In this episode, I unpack the myth of laziness and why it’s such a damaging label for people with hoarding disorder.

I’ll break down how blaming ourselves or others for being “lazy” ignores the real barriers - like overwhelm, poor mental health, executive dysfunction and more - and just piles on more shame.

Let’s get honest about what’s actually holding us back and why reframing this idea matters.

The Myth of Laziness in Relation to HoardingRevisiting a previous episode’s question: Are hoarders lazy?Arguments against the idea (hoarded homes require more energy to live in, etc.)The aversion to external intervention reveals deeper issues than lazinessSocietal attitudes towards rest and productivityInternalised and external accusations of lazinessThe damaging effects: shame, isolation, distressUnderstanding Hoarding as a Mental Health IssueHoarding as a coping method for difficult emotionsJudgments of laziness overlook the disorder’s complexity and nuanceSuch labels add barriers to seeking help and reinforce stigmaConsequences of Labelling People who Hoard (or Ourselves) as LazyShame and self-criticism deepen the problemLaziness as a simplistic explanation that ignores underlying issuesPossible root causes: executive dysfunction, decision-making difficulties, emotional attachment to items, avoidance, depression, physical disability, etc.The Harmful Cultural Narrative Around LazinessSocietal pressures to be constantly productiveInaccuracies of the “we all have the same 24 hours” mythDifferences in time and capability due to systemic inequalitiesExamples: physical ability, mental health, neurodivergence, responsibilities, discriminationMoral and Social Implications of the “Lazy” LabelCare tasks are morally neutral (reference to KC Davis, episode 82)The negative cycle: shame leads to paralysis, makes it harder to seek help and make progressLaziness label used as a justification for lack of societal supportPolitical and social consequences for marginalised groupsImportance of community, support, and helping each otherThe Danger of Linking Self-Worth to ProductivityThe toxic culture of non-stop productivity and hustlingProblems with feeling guilty for restingThe spiral of self-worth being tied to continuous outputThe Limiting Nature of the Laziness ConceptIt shuts down further exploration of underlying problemsMissed opportunities for self-compassion, empathy, and effective assistanceUnderlying Reasons for Struggles That Are Mistaken for LazinessLack of motivation: exhaustion, depression, overwhelmOverwhelm due to the scale of the taskExecutive dysfunction (planning, initiating, processing tasks)Fear (of the process, of making wrong decisions, of consequences)Fatigue, burnout, and mental health strugglesBeing practically or emotionally stuck, lacking skills or knowledgeSocietal Structures and Individual BlameBlame placed on individuals ignores wider systemic and commercial influencesIndustries profit from reinforcing personal inadequacy (beauty industry analogy, storage solutions)The cycle of self-blame, shame, and attempts to “fix” via consumerismBreaking the Cycle and Moving ForwardRecognising the myth of laziness enables real progressCompassion, curiosity, and support as healthier responsesEncouragement for self-acceptance and seeking genuine solutions

Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

Links

Podcast ep 57: Are hoarders lazy? I think you’d be surprised…Podcast ep 82: Dehoarding when you’re drowning with KC Davis of Struggle CarePodcast ep 112: Executive function, executive dysfunction and hoarding with Dr Jan EppingstallPodcast ep 186: 10 executive dysfunction tips and tricks to help people who hoard, whether we have ADHD or are neurodivergent or not – Hoarding Awareness Week 2025Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie LagerstedtPodcast ep 162: From Fibble to Focus: Defibble your executive dysfunction with Jo CavalotPodcast ep 188: 12 ways to make decision-making easier (and why people who hoard find it so hard to make decisions in the first place!)Podcast ep 139: Chronic disorganisation with Jo Cooke of Hoarding Disorders UKPodcast ep 107: Things that look like hoarding but aren’t: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and moreEnough, the PodcastCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @[email protected]TikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast

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Hoarding disorder is stigmatised and people who hoard feel vast amounts of shame. This podcast began life as an audio diary, an anonymous outlet for somebody with this weird condition. That Hoarder speaks about her experiences living with compulsive hoarding, she interviews therapists, academics, researchers, children of hoarders, professional organisers and influencers, and she shares insight and tips for others with the problem. Listened to by people who hoard as well as those who love them and those who work with them, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder aims to shatter the stigma, share the truth and speak openly and honestly to improve lives.

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