How to Tell if Someone Will Be a Good Long-Term Partner (and find them)

How to Tell if Someone Will Be a Good Long-Term Partner (and find them)

Growth Mindset Psychology: The Science of Self-Improvement · 2025-06-10

What if everything we believe about finding love is designed to keep us searching instead of finding?

This episode debunks some of the worst common advice and showcases what's genuinely useful.

It might start with you. The people most focused on finding the perfect partner often remain alone, while those focused on becoming the right partner tend to attract extraordinary relationships.

Shift from scarcity-based dating to abundance-based connection:



Understand "optimal search theory"




Focus on shared vision for the future rather than identical current interests




Recognise that generosity and a growth mindset matter more than initial chemistry




If you find someone, will you recognise them when you do?



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Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.

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Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement



Episode: How to Tell if Someone Will Be a Good Long-Term Partner (and find them)



Chapters:

00:00 How to choose a partner

00:51 Importance of shared values

03:21 Know what you really want

05:29 What is the "Optimal Choice"

06:08 Increasing the pool of potential mates

06:57 Go on more dates

08:27 Improving yourself to attract better partners

10:10 4 Mistakes and bad advices when choosing a partner

13:22 4 Dating myths to uncover

19:40 4 Signs to look at when choosing a partner

22:45 Past Relationships

27:06 Screening for a positive mindset

28:42 Optimal Search Theory

31:30 Send off
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Growth Mindset Psychology: The Science of Self-Improvement

There are a lot of opinions on how to master your mind, but then there’s PSYCHOLOGY.
We’re all stuck with the brain we’re born with, but we aren’t stuck with how we use it.

Learn science-backed answers to make the most of your mind and your life.

CURIOUS?
Growth Mindset Psychology is the "self-help sceptic" podcast for the curious.
Whether you want to improve performance, navigate setbacks, or know who you are.
We find answers to the true science of self-improvement.
So put down the astrology chart and start working with your mind, instead of against it.
With over 8 million downloads and 60,000 monthly listeners, you’re invited to join.

PROCESS
Instead of telling you what to think, we discuss how thinking works.
Armed with a stack of science journals, textbooks and a boatload of curiosity, we uncover the mechanics of the mind.
Why? >>> Success is personal!
You might want to make the most of your neurodiverse strengths, start a business, or simply find more reasons to smile.
Hone your ability for independent thinking and growth with mental models to pursue your definition of success.

HOST
I’m Sam Webster Harris, a lifelong learner with ADHD, a raging curiosity, and an obsession with finding answers to hard questions.
After launching several businesses, travelling the world and nearly dying a few times I concluded that science and Psychology are where it’s at.
What actually makes people happy? What’s the best way to treat a brain? How can I get more done?
Studying the answers we find that changing behaviours requires building mindsets, mental models, and a healthy relationship with failure.
I run the show to help listeners enjoy nutritious content that feeds their minds (and I needed a legitimate excuse to cover for my reading addiction).

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ARCHIVE
Previous guests include Olympians, Scientists, Billionaires, and Sam's Mum.
Past series:
— Psychology vs Stoicism
— Time Management for busy mortals
— Independence and knowing yourself
— Cognitive biases and rational thinking
— Psychology of connection
— Carol Dweck and the Multiverse of Mindsets

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