Why Your Brain Craves Revenge and How to Break Free

Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness · 2025-05-21

Revenge, why do we want to get revenge so bad? And where does that urge come from? And how do we go from wanting to get revenge to being able to forgive someone or others? James Kimmel Jr., Yale lecturer and co-founder of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Studies, is on Getting Better this week to teach us just that. James gives us insight into the psychology of these complex emotions, the parts of the brain affected, and what research, studies and science shows us about forgiveness.

James Kimmel, Jr., JD, is a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, the founder and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies, and a researcher, lawyer, and novelist who focuses on neuroscience, psychology, revenge, addiction, forgiveness, and violence. A breakthrough scholar and expert on revenge and forgiveness, he first identified compulsive revenge seeking as an addiction and first developed the behavioral addiction model of revenge and the brain disease model of revenge addiction as public health approaches for preventing and treating violence. More can be found on his personal website, www.jameskimmeljr.com.

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Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

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Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness

Join Jonathan Van Ness (Queer Eye) each week for their next exciting endeavor! “Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness" is here to empower listeners (and also make them laugh) by using curiosity as a tool for personal growth. In a world that often feels overwhelming—where it’s easy to feel stuck, frustrated, or helpless—Getting Better offers a lifeline. Each week, Jonathan Van Ness, alongside experts and thought leaders, guides us through our shared challenges—confidence, productivity, mental health, happiness, relationships, and more—helping us emerge thriving, invigorated, and most importantly - a little bit better.

Join us every Wednesday for brand new episodes, and catch full video episodes on YouTube! And tune in every Monday for brand new episodes of our companion show: The Monday Edit, where JVN and senior producer Chris giving you a behind the scenes look at the creation of Getting Better, hot takes on today’s headlines, and all in all share with you how the sausage gets made!

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